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Lessons On Reciprocity That Can Help Boost Employee Retention

I'm a cofounder and the Head of Innovation at Fringe. We are an HR Technology startup focused on transforming the work experience.

I was a military kid growing up. My dad served in the Marine Corps for 13 years, and we lived all over the U.S. during my childhood. As a consequence of living on military bases, there was no shortage of other kids around.

One of the favorite games of the neighborhood kids and myself was to stockpile our Nerf guns, divide up into teams and battle it out to be the last team standing. As with any game, there were rules, spoken and unspoken. For example, if you got tagged with a dart, you were “dead” (with dramatic enactments totally appropriate). The quickest way to start an undignified uproar was to violate one of those rules. Our sense of the “right” way to play when we are kids is seemingly intrinsic.

Over the course of his career, neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp analyzed the play behavior of juvenile rats. In one of his landmark studies, he found that when putting two rats together to play, the "dominant" rat would pin the other rat 70% of the time—so about 2 to 3 times more often. At face value, the conclusion could be along the lines of “survival of the fittest.” The larger rat wins and elevates itself in the social hierarchy and will therefore be more successful in passing along its genes.

But, rats live in social communities and have iterative relationships that build on one another. Rats don’t simply play with each other one time. So, Panksepp continued his research by putting the rats together again. He then found that if the dominant rat didn’t let the little rat win some of the time, the little rat would sometimes stop playing.

There is seemingly an emergent ethos that is inherent to repeated trades between living creatures. And it isn’t to win a single game. It’s to win at a set of iterated games. The play isn’t fun unless there is mutuality and even cooperation.

I think this ethos is true for humans, too. In human groups, the meanest, nastiest person doesn’t usually rise to the top—at least not for long. The people best at building alliances are able to “get ahead.” I've found that playing “nice” with others—abiding by the spirit of cooperation we learned in childhood—is the optimal strategy not only for individual advancement but for high-performing teams.

The primatologist Frans de Waal, in studying chimpanzee and capuchin monkeys, found in one experiment that they often made choices that benefited their partners. Another study of chimpanzees found that while there are chimps who get to the top of a troop through power and physical dominance, it is also possible for smaller males to gain power by being more reciprocal in their interactions with other members of the group.

While humans aren’t rats or chimps, there are some valuable lessons we can extract from the research.

1. Cooperative play is a desirable state for relationships.

Working together toward a shared goal can give us satisfaction and pleasure, and for many people, this is the desirable state of relationships in the workplace. Establishing a collective vision and orienting work around cooperation and collaboration can leverage an intrinsic human desire for impact in community. It's important for leaders to communicate this compelling vision and orient the goals of teams around that vision.

2. Reciprocity is a tool of unification.

Power and dominance may give an advantage in the short run, but it’s not typically an optimized long-term strategy. It’s a self-defeating game. We’re wired for reciprocity and some research indicates that we’re predisposed to altruism even when it’s not apparent that it’s in our own material interests. When our work communities are infused with an ethic of reciprocity, it can facilitate the goodwill and cooperation that are needed to accomplish goals together.

3. Cooperation and reciprocity can help drive employee retention.

In my experience, when both of these values—cooperation and reciprocity—are operating optimally, employee retention can increase. Here are some tips to improve the workplace and balance these values.

• Build a culture of abundance. As the saying goes, “A rising tide lifts all ships.” Finding and celebrating leaders and team members who have a “serve first” mindset and take joy in the successes of others can lay a foundation for future reciprocity and cooperation across the organization.

• Encourage collaboration. Working in silos is a quick way to conjure feelings of being on an island and breed misunderstanding and competition rooted in scarcity. The more teams can collaborate on cross-functional projects, the more feelings of reciprocity can help break down silos. Collaborative teams (i.e., teams that work together reciprocally) can often work faster and more effectively than teams operating in silos.

• Show appreciation for your people. When we feel appreciated, many of us feel happier. And the positive effect we experience when we’re happier can drive intrinsic motivation, making us more collaborative and effective in teams and individual work. Simple signs of gratitude (including excellent employee benefits, lifestyle support, flexible work and gifts for various life events) can go a long way in establishing a culture of appreciation.

• Make recognition a regular practice. Rewarding the dopamine cycles in our brains can reinforce the “good” behavior that’s desired. This could be anything from “shout-outs” at company-wide meetings to formalized recognition programs.

The point is to be intentional in recognizing the kind of reciprocity and collaboration that lead to good business outcomes.


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