3 ways to keep work conversation productive, appropriate

Tough conversations are a part of everyday life. It’s not easy to talk to an employee about his or her performance, initiate a business break up or even ask for a raise. We don’t like it when people disagree with us. We avoid confrontation. We dread delivering bad news.

However, maintaining the status quo often isn’t an option. In order to get better — to be better — we have to be challenged.

These days, conversations that are tough for other reasons are popping up everywhere.

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We’re surrounded by negative discourse. It’s happening on Capitol Hill, on social media, on television and around the dinner table, so it makes sense that it would spill over into the workplace.

This creates a conundrum for managers. Employees build relationships through small talk and sharing personal stories. It’s natural for us to want to discuss current events.

How do you create a work environment where your employees feel safe and everyone understands what is and isn’t appropriate? Where is that line between allowing employees to voice their personal opinions, and making sure others don’t feel uncomfortable? And how does that apply to employees’ actions after work hours if they are insulting or threatening to fellow employees?

If you haven’t been thinking about how your company handles employee relationships and discourse, you should.

Millennials and Generation Z are moving into the workforce at exponential rates as baby boomers are retiring. Millennials are currently the largest population in the U.S. workforce, holding approximately 20 percent of all leadership roles. About 17 million members of Gen Z started their careers last year and they are the most diverse generation we have ever seen.

According to Deloitte’s annual Millennial Survey published earlier this year, millennial and Gen Z employees value ethics, an inclusive workplace culture, diversity in leadership, and look to business leaders to make a positive impact in society.

More:From a weary millennial, embrace the gifts (and flaws) of Gen-Z

Additionally, they are “…especially interested in building interpersonal skills, confidence and ethical behavior — all of which they consider essential for a business to be successful.”

So how do we attract and retain new employees who make career decisions based on these values that are often the basis for some of today’s most heated discussions? It might be time to rethink how we have tough conversations.

Here are three ways to approach conversations. 

Don't try to change someone's mind

Do not go into a conversation assuming you will change the other person’s mind. Their viewpoint is based on deeply-held values, beliefs, and experiences. Instead, use your conversation as an opportunity to learn about those values, beliefs and experiences.

Ask genuine questions, without using accusatory or derogatory language, to better understand their opinions. You may find you agree on more points than you think.

Don't argue about facts

Do not assume your conversation partner will agree with your logic or the facts you present. Yes, facts are facts. However, each of us interprets facts differently and make assumptions about facts based on our own context. We don’t process a statistic without a subtle internal commentary. Our inquisitive human nature always wants to know “why.”

So instead of arguing about facts in a difficult conversation, it would be more productive to try to find common ground.

Maintain openness, even if one-sided

You might find that your conversation partner is not as open as you are. This is where tone, civility and respect can keep the conversation moving in a productive way. It can be easy to fall into a tit-for-tat, he-said she-said situation if you aren’t paying attention. Strive to maintain a spirit of openness, which will often elicit the same from your partner.

The time has never been better for employers to be proactive in creating a workplace culture that fosters good interpersonal communication and a safe, inclusive, welcoming environment for all.

Casey Self, APR is the Marketing Manager at Perceptics, LLC, and the president of the Volunteer Chapter of the Public Relations Society of America.