So, we were talking about digital etiquette for job seekers in last week’s column, but as it turns out, the article probably should have been equally addressed to employers instead. I got a nice set of emails from candidates who feel the blame for poor etiquette belongs with interviewers and others who fail to respond in a timely way to job seeker correspondence and calls.
Which leads smoothly into today’s conversation about ghosting. First a definition — ghosting is the act of disappearing from an interaction without a word. For example, people may ghost someone when they don’t want to continue a relationship, or when they’re angry but don’t want to discuss the problem. It’s relatively easy to do these days, since our phones and digital tools make it simple to identify and block those we don’t want to interact with.
We’ve been hearing about employer ghosting for so long that the practice precedes the term. Interviewers who don’t respond to candidates after a meeting, human resources staff who fail to tell candidates when a job has been filled, recruiters who simply stop answering calls from particular candidates — these are all common variations on the same theme of employers ignoring job seekers once they’ve lost interest in them for the position.
This week I heard a couple of new examples, from candidates who had been invited for interviews and then ignored– as in, no interviewer came into the room to conduct the meeting, leaving them to eventually see themselves out. Now, that’s just plain rude.
It’s also surprising, but only in its timing. When the job market is bad for candidates — when jobs are tight, that is — rude behavior by employers seems to increase. But employer behavior usually improves when the market favors the job seeker, as is generally the case now.
And that brings us to the other side of the equation: ghosting by candidates, which seems to be on the rise. Not only are some candidates blowing off interviews and phone conversations, but employers are even reporting successful applicants who fail to arrive for their first day of work.
Of course, this has always happened to some degree, so it’s hardly news that someone would back out of a commitment. But what is surprising is the total lack of connection employers are describing. It’s one thing to send regrets, but it’s quite another to simply ignore all attempts by the employer to reach their new (but absent) employee.
To understand this phenomenon, I’ve been trying to put myself into the mindset of the employee/job seeker who is doing the ghosting. Is this person overwhelmed? Embarrassed about having changed their mind? Or just clueless about the proper etiquette and the potential damage they could be causing to their reputation?
Of course, I should be trying to understand the employers’ mindsets as well, since their ghosting practices go back decades. But that’s actually pretty obvious: They feel entitled to ignore job seekers because employers have been doing just that since forever. It’s an embedded practice for which they are rarely held accountable. That doesn’t make it right, but it does explain why it persists. It’s just a lot easier than doing the right thing.
So, going back to the candidate, here’s my take: Even if the current market diminishes the penalty for ghosting, and even though our digital tools make it easy to do, it’s still a bad idea, for a number of reasons.
First, it’s a bad habit to get into. If you haven’t master the art of difficult conversations by now, when will you? Just because you don’t know what to say, or feel uncomfortable saying it, doesn’t mean you should avoid the interaction. If you don’t want this job or this interview, have the courage to say so. Any communication is better than silence, so if you can’t picture making the call, then send a short email instead.
Second, you’re damaging your reputation, possibly in ways that won’t be visible to you. Even if you plan to never apply to a particular company again, what makes you think those interviewers you disrespected will never change companies themselves? Are you certain they won’t remember you when you apply at the new organization?
Third, it’s beneath you. I don’t even know you and I feel comfortable saying that — mostly because that behavior is beneath anyone. You won’t feel good about yourself if you leave an employer or interviewer in the lurch. So square your shoulders and write that email or make that call. You’ll feel better if you do.
Amy Lindgren owns a career consulting firm in St. Paul. She can be reached at alindgren@prototypecareerservice.com.
