Dear Kim,

I’m new at my job and am struggling with a co-worker.  For some reason she clearly doesn’t like me, and it shows.  Every interaction we have is negative.  She doesn’t treat others with the disdain she shows me.  I have done some soul searching and I really can’t come up with a reason.  Short of asking her and another confrontation, what should I do?

Stella

Topeka

Dear Stella,

So much for professionalism in the workplace!  Certainly not everyone will be your best friend, but there are general expectations of civility in the workplace.  You use the word “disdain”.  Sounds more serious than a simple “I don’t like you”.  Something has caused this behavior, even if you can’t put your finger on it.  You did something to her. 😊

Seriously though, if you want to find out what the problem is, you WILL have to ask.  You don’t want to do that.  Why not?  It could be any reason under the sun for her behavior.  It’s unfortunate she has chosen to treat you poorly instead of just talking with you.  I’m guessing you are both adults???

Here’s the deal.  You’re both at work.  Most workplaces have a code of conduct that outline expectations of behavior.  If her bad behavior continues, speak to your supervisor if you must interact with her regularly.  Some sort of conflict resolution may be necessary. 

Finally, remember the only thing you have control over is you.  How you conduct yourself at work is far more important.  Never let anymore drag you into their lane.  You be you.  The rest will sort itself out.

Good luck!

Have a question?  Ask Kim!    https://www.ksnt.com/ask-kim-a-question/